Extra Credit

Last night, my 9-year-old daughter Anna needed help with her homework.  



Of course, I could not call her at that time, and I was, in fact, at a doctor’s appointment.  When the text message came through, I immediately dismissed it and forgot about it without reading it.  After I got home, after we had dinner, and after she took her shower and got into her PJs, I looked at my phone and saw her text.  I found her tone so adorable I immediately read it to my wife, and then when Anna came downstairs, I complimented her on her wording and cuteness.  But she didn’t want a compliment on her text; she wanted help with her math!

Quickly she grabbed her homework and brought it over to me, pencil in hand.  She was stuck on the last multiplication problem, the one for extra credit, which required you to demonstrate that you understand the concept and can apply it to something you haven’t seen before—the one with a new and mysterious “3-digit number” times a “2-digit number”.

When she sat down with me, she immediately erased all the numbers and the sentence, “I tried, but I couldn’t figure it out.”  Of course, this is new math.  Complete with circling numbers, grouping them, expanding them, multiplying them, and adding them.  Suddenly I realized I didn’t know how to do this either!  We went through a few iterations together.  Let’s see if this is correct.  Oh my God, we got it wrong.  What should we try next?  Erase, erase, erase; 3 experiments later, we figured it out.  When we solved it, she was proud, she was happy, and she felt accomplished.
Now, this isn’t a story about Anna’s extra credit.

It’s about reflecting on these 15 minutes of my life and recognizing that they were uniquely fulfilling to Anna and me.  This was a special moment and an important one.

Seven months ago, I sold my business.  I gave my business everything I had for 13 years.  Always talking about finding a “work-life balance” but never solving the problem. 

Many moments I gave up were known to me – I was acutely aware of the sacrifice.  This moment hits differently.  It’s a moment in the crazy hustle and bustle of working non-stop that does not even make the “missed opportunities” list.  If I were still working all the time, Anna would not have even sent a text message asking for help.  She would have left the sentence, “I tried, but I couldn’t figure it out.” And, I would continue dealing with the day’s issues, telling myself I’m doing it for my family and missing what my family actually needs from me.

If you need a reminder, create a space for the people you love and recognize your moments of unique fulfillment.  If you need help creating this space, drop me a line.  I founded Solutions In Place, LLC - a consulting and mentorship firm - dedicated to helping leaders lead better businesses and lives.